It’s a long story, so I understand if you dont read it all, but atleast read a few sentences and tell me how to deal with my mom PLEASE. Okay, so my mom and me used to be really close, and she was really nice, and we had a really good relationship. But now she is alot different. She used to care alot about how she and I looked, but now she is overweight and won’t wear any of her nice clothes or spend time on her hair and make-up. She used to care about how much the rest of the family hated ciggarettes, but now she smokes indoors…Even though the smell of tobacco makes it hard for me to breathe, and my sister vomit. She literally kept smoking while my six-year-old sister was puking. She used to gently explain what I did wrong after my dad had me in tears once he yelled at me when I did something wrong. Now, she smirks and yells, too; like its amusing her that she has me crying. She used to do activity’s with me, and we would be close. But now, she won’t even sit down to watch a movie with me. She used to alwayskeep her pormises, but now she breaks them all. Every single one. Like, she told me she wouldnt burden me with anymore brothers and sisters…..I have three more now. And she told me she would go out and see a movie and dinner, and that never happened. It’s like she’s gone, and someone else replaced her.I feel so lonely, because I’m not close to my stepdad, and im not close to my friends at school. I have no way to explain my loneliness. The only thing that keeps me from killing myself is God. I tell myslef that God is in control and will make it better at times like these.Everything is falling apart. My ten-year-old brother just got diagnosed with ciliac on top of his diabetes and asthma, which is really scaring me because I love him more than anyone else, and he has arthiritis, and probably wont be able to walk ever again soon. I ask myslef why him? Why can’t I have it instead of him, make his life easier? I know its the devil, but why could’nt he leave my brother alone? My mom is cheating on my stepdad, and she has had three kids with him, and the man who she is the father of them lives with us, and Step Dad doesnt kick him out for some unknown reason. My Step Dad is a chief in the navy, and he is probably going to be gone in Japan…For three years. And we cant come. And my poor little sister is forgotten, considering 10 people live in the house, 7 of them being kid’s who need to be cared for. And while mom feeds the 3 babie’s, she is forgotten. Sometimes she doesnt eat all day until she comes to me and asks me to make her a sandwich, since shes too young to do it herself. I never, ever get out of the house except during school. I literally stay home for months at a time. The neighbours whisper- ‘Those Nelson kids are finally outdoors for once.’ Whenever we do get outside.I have no reason to be the one out of the family who should be depressed and just so ready to be 90 and dead, but I can’t help but feel that way. There are a few reasons my mom would be an opposite of herself: The kids. Three screaming baby’s, a diabetic boy who’s allergic to most food’s, and a out-of-control eighteen year old I did’nt mention. Plus, me. Then, it could be the house. It is only four bedroom’s for 10 people and it is crowded by baby toys, and everything. I’m twelve, and the reason I feel this way is because: 1. my mom and I are completely apart. 2. My brother isnt taking his diabetes seriously. He is always forgetting to check his blood sugar and give himself an insulin shot, and could possibly die if he doesnt straighten himslef out. 3. The stress of my stepdad being cheated on. 4.The ciggarettes my mom smokes. Its gotten so bad all my clothes smell like clothes, and i’m not choking just around ciggaretes. 5. My grandma is seriously ill. I went to the hospital the other day, and she didnt remember me. She was upset, and covered in tubes. 6. I hate myself. I cant describe myslef. Im weird. Thats all I can say. But another reason I hate myslef is because I hate myslef. Everyone I meet likes me, I dont really have a personality that doesnt match someone elses, and im beautiful, and I know it, but i’m always complaining about my hair,nose,braces, etc. I really need help. If you guys can’t help, it’s okay. But please try. Im crying, and I hate myself for it becuase starving kids should be crying NOT me.
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It’s a long story, so I understand if you dont read it all, but atleast read a few sentences and tell me how to deal with my mom PLEASE. Okay, so …
17 replies on “My mom isnt the same. Please, please, please, please help me.?”
Go talk to your school counselor. Well, you can’t right now, obviously, but as soon as you get back to school. Your mom sounds depressed (I mean medically) and it sounds like you’re dealing with too much stress, etc. It’s okay to cry. But please get yourself some help.
Is there anyone you can talk to? Neighbors? Your stepdad? Teachers? Someone at church? Club or youth group leader? Crisis line? Find someone to talk to.
*hugs*
Im sorry to hear about your brother and grandma!! Why not talk to your mother about the problems you are having!!
Hi, I know your life seems very hard right now, but it will get better. I promise! When I was 14 my step brother killed himself & my family went out of control. My step father is a huge drunk & my mother did everything he said. When I was 18 I moved out. Everything is so much better now. Don’t give up it will get better. I am now married to the best husband ever & have 2 little girls. I will never allow drama in my life. Be strong its almost over. Go to a church and make friends. Good luck & happy holidays.
okay, you dont need to kill yourself.
wont solve anything. things are bad we get it, but trust me on this i know, the thing with depression is that you choose to be depressed. yes these events are part of it but so are you. your mother obviously has issues and you might want to talk to a counsler or something. thats sounds bad i know and you wont want to but if things are bad then you need to talk to someone. try and make new friends and try and get out of the house more if you dont like being there, that will also get you away from the smoke. gett awwayyy from the smoke bc secondhand smoke is worse than actually smoking the cigarette itself. good luck, keep praying. remember that things WILL get better.
talk to her and try to be happy. at your school there should be at least one therapist or something similar. talk to to that person or a trusted adult about your problems. don’t give up on hope. ok? if you want to talk email be at bobatoki10@yahoo.com anytime
Wow sweetie I really don’t know what to tell you. But one thing I know is that you need to talk to someone or ask someone for help. It isn’t healthy for you or anyone else. Maybe your mother is going through some sort of depression. You are acting like the mother of the house, you should be enjoying your childhood, not constantly worrying about stuff. Do you have any relatives you can talk to about this? If you don’t want to then maybe you could just confront your mom? If you don’t want to do this either then there is really nothing else you can do. Things will get better eventually, they always do. Its ok to cry. Just please make sure your brother takes better care of his diabetes, please please please. If you ever want to talk just e-mail me at sammy_kennedy@yahoo.com
wow that sucks im 12 im gonna add u as a contact email me when you need some1 to talk to
Yikes! When you get old you learn that kids dont have much power. Just live your life and take care of yourself. Thats really what lifes about, because there are plenty of things to confuse and upset you, and there always will be. Calm focus makes hard things easy. Good luck to you.
Ah I am so sorry what you are going through right now. And I thought my life was hard (my parents divorced) well it’s nothing compared to yours. I am sorry for all of what you are going through. And I think it’s great that you are being as strong as you can and taking care of your little sister, poor gal gets forgotten and not even fed until your there. And I am very sorry about your mothers smocking and that your sister vomits. You need to find a good friend that you can trust. That way you can talk to her cause you need some one to talk to, if you keep it all to your self then it’s going to tear you up. Im Skylar, I am also 12 years old! I will add you as my contact! You can email me any day you want and tell me about your day or like if you need some one to talk to, so if im on the computer or when I come back on I will email you and we can talk. Also don’t let this whole thing effect your future! You go and be strong as you can! And Follow your dreams!
I think youre mother may be suffering from depression. If she has a doctor please contact that person and see if they can help with an intervention. It seems like since you are 12,you need more people to support you. Try asking your school counselor. That is what they are there for. You can even ask a teacher you trust for help. This is def. something a 12 yr old shouldnt have to burden alone. I would also encourage you to seek therapy. Not because I think you need help,but it may help you in learning how to deal with things differently so you can navigate this life easier.
blessings~
sweetie you are not weird you are going through a crises that is loaded in over drive. And your mother may also have the same condition. the only hope that I could possibly consider you to have is God who sent his Son Jesus Christ. your BBJ Big Brother Jesus I pray that God will send you his personal comfort and direction of what you can do, and the courage to trust him to guide you and protect you into the place where He God your Father will Bless you. And behold the beauty of his love in you. You are Gods favorite and He dose love you dearly. What He will do in you will also effect all that you love.
honestly i did not read all of that
but NEVER think your problems are not valid
from what I read you are under a lot of pressure and I want you to know (even though we dont actually know each other) you can make it through these troubled times. Take it day by day.
1. confront your mother
2. get help from an outsider
3. be careful idk if the orphanage is much better
4. tough it out. YOU CAN DO IT
5. call a friend and be strong
<3 <3 <3
wow. it sounds pretty bad and i read the whole thing. is the 18 year old at home? Explain to her/her in a SERIOUS manner that they need to straighten up. add some of what you said in her to him/her. Could you ask neighbors for help? and lastly, its not your fault so don’t hate yourself. at least your not smoking like your mom or cheating on your husband. and maybe God is keeping you alive for your brother because it sounds like your whole family is depending on you. Let your mom ruin her life if she wants to but don’t let her ruin yours. I know it is probably hard and maybe I shouldn’t say anything since I’ve never had this experience but stay positive for your siblings and you
Sounds like mom is having some kind of depression or changes going on herself, but that is no excuse to forget and neglect her children. You should try to talk to an aunt or uncle some one you are close to maybe a teacher or someone at school, they can point you in the right direction, but PLEASE do not try to hurt your self, you seem like an amazing young girl with alot to live for. Suicide is never the right answer. Good luck sweetie and if you ever need to talk you can message me or probably anyone on here and I am sure they would be glad to help you out.
Your mother is definitely depressed, possibly from when your birth father left or divorced. or some other reason, bills, love etc And the men she with now aren’t doing anything it sounds to make things better.
You sound like a really great person, and do not ever forget that. From what I can read you are like the most intelligent one in the house right now. Another question is are you close to any other relatives that live near by or do they all live far away,, like aunts or uncles, or others and surely they could lend a hand ??? or why have they not ??
You should also love yourself for what your doing, it’s not easy I know. Your being robbed of your childhood, sounds like your about 15 going on 40 !!!
Maybe you could keep a journal, if that’s something you may do or would be interested and give yourself a pat on the back for all you do… Also try to take some time for your own private time.
Just keep your head up, and remenber there are people who do care about you, and better days are coming.
******** HUGGGSSS ******
You have a very caring heart for your siblings and other family members. That makes you a wonderful human being! If you didn’t care at all, then you’d have a reason to not like yourself.
The turn around about your mom’s personality sounds like she is depressed and stressed out to the point that it seems she doesn’t care, but I’ll bet she does! What she is doing is lashing out from frustration. that’s what you are sensing. And I’m so sorry for this. You are way too young to have this on your shoulder’s. As another person here said, find a church to attend. Maybe go with a friend. Find out if there is a local youth group. You know, some churches have youth groups that are a lot of fun and they even provide transportation. I wish you could do that to get in a helpful environment for yourself. If you don’t feel comfortable asking a friend about this get the phone book and look up the churches. Call them and ask about the youth groups. Keep calling till you find one. Ask if they can pick you up. I knew loads of church groups who did that. Don’t be shy about it because this could be your life line to a happier more fulfilled life and even for that of your family. When you find an adult you feel comfortable with tell them what’s upsetting you like you did here. Someone your mother’s age could reach out to her and really encourage her. There’s a ton of people out there in these churches aching to help people like you and your family because they want to make a difference in someone’s life!
You aren’t weird. You just think no one feels the way you do and can’t relate to you because of it, but that’s not true. Believe me. So many people would understand where you are coming from and we ALL care very much about you. We don’t even have to see you- just your words alone touch our hearts. If it helps, remember that God does understand what’s going on so ask him to help you and your family and I will pray for you too, as will other Christians who see this post.
I raised 6 children, had a husband who cheated on me but asked for forgiveness, he was even put in jail for 5 years but everything is going to be just fine because I truly trust that when I ask God for help He will help us just as he will for you. Yes, many of us have it pretty bad but we have to be strong for each other. I am grateful I have a God who can do anything! And he will take good care of you honey. I am going to ask my kids to pray for you too and my grandkids! So there’s a lot of us out here pulling for you.
I have a nice website for you to look at, it called, christianteens.about.com You are almost a teen so enjoy this website!
I pray you have a wonderful Christmas regardless of what is happening around you because Jesus loves you so much! be encouraged.
Merry Christmas to you and your family : )
Contact me again if you’d like to.
your family has a lot of problems right now…. hopefully things will get better. it sounds to me like your mom is really depressed and so are you…
go to the school physiologist. that is what they are there for… at least it will be someone that you can talk to that will do everything they can to make you feel better and to explain to you why you are feeling the way you are……..
try to relax and talk to the physiologist… it really will help you!!!